(CPP – Wednesday, January 11, 2006) In a stunning announcement in Toronto today, Broadcast Executive and Liberal Party Spokesman, Ima Lyar, stated: “The Liberal Party of Canada has discovered irrefutable proof that Stephen Harper is the Anti-Christ. Pouring over his recorded speeches we have noted that he did six different interviews, on six different topics, with six different reporters in six different cities – 6666 – the mark of the Beast from Registrations.”
When CityTV reporter, Sucha Quetie, questioned Ms. Lyar on her statement, reminding her that “666” is actually the Mark of the Beast and in a stunning acknowledgment of Biblical understanding stated “and the last book of the Bible is Revelations, not Registrations”, Ms. Lyar responded, “666? Okay, okay. Then, ah, look at his name. It’s Stephen Joseph Harper. If you, like, spell his first name S-T-E-V-E-N, as any real Canadian would, then you get 6 letters in each of his three names, 6-6-6. You want more proof!”, Ms.Lyar, now visibily agitated, yelled. “Just look at his campaign. He’s raised the Conservatives from the dead. It’s a false miracle. Any popcorn eating, beer swilling Canadian can see that.”
Lyar refused to answer questions, however, on the reasons the Liberals had pulled their Harper 6666 ad. Telling the CBC reporter who brought it up, “I thought we agreed not to talk about that, now, didn’t we.” Mike Duffy, in a surprise Toronto visit, thundered, “Ms. Lyar, we the media will not be intimidated in asking the questions the people of Canada want answered.” He then asked her, “Ms. Lyar, will you be returning to the network after the election?” Ms. Lyar responded, “Why Mikey, I’ve never left. And shouldn’t you be back in Ottawa, sweetie?”
Liberal handlers and network producers quickly moved Ms. Lyar to a waiting company vehicle.