After much research, product testing (on my kids…no animals were hurt in the making of this product), test marketing and focus grouping, I’m proud to release Newbigin’s Missional Shampoo. I’m profoundly convinced that this will be the best shampoo you will ever use. There is a real narrative behind this product – a wonderful story.
But I confess I do expect some confusion and push back.
Some of you will agree that it IS good shampoo – it’s just for a specific part of the body – that has absolutely nothing to do with the head.
Some of you will decide it’s also toothpaste – and use it accordingly. (Your complaints will be ignored.)
Some of you will question the research methodology that has gone into the formulation of this product, provide funding for your own research, decide the product is actually beer and then be confused when it tastes terrible and causes frothing at the mouth.
Some of you are folliclly-challenged, but will insist on using it anyway. Good on you.
But if you will just listen to me, your hair will look so much better, the opposite sex will find you much more attractive and your remaining days will be dramatically improved.
UPDATE: My friend, Paul Fromont (here with us in Skamania) has advised me to add that a Part Two of this post will appear – explaining the rather bizarre nature of this one.