I ran into Juan Minsick at the Vancouver Airport recently. I was heading home. He was on his way to speak at some breakout session at a mega-church conference and recognized me from my blog pic. After berating me for a few moments about the PFKA meme, Juan launched into his favourite topic, himself, and his latest attempt to capture a share of the Christendom Leadership market. After years of research, Juan has come up with his latest concept – fungible-Laws or f-Laws™ as he calls them. He has 21 of them.
He told me that he chose 21 because he sees it as the multiplication of the perfect numbers 3 and 7. Biblical math he said – he told me to look it up. As I attempted to get a word in, Juan launched into a description of his 21 f-Laws™.
The first was the f-Law™ of the ID. Getting excited, Juan said "successful church leaders know it’s all about getting their needs met. If leaders would just realize that they are the most important person in their universe – success would flow like a river."
The 2nd was the f-Law™ of Influenza. "It’s a virus baby. Leaders have got to infect people with the knowledge of their greatness." "The people’s greatness?", I asked. Minsick snorted, "Yah, right. The leaders greatness of course. People need to catch this virus so they are ready to defend their leader at any turn. No matter what the facts might be."
Minsick’s 3rd was the f-Law™ of Progress. "People need to feel that you are always moving forward. Even if the church is shrinking. You’ve got to come up with something big. Maybe build something. Or start a satellite church in another city. Whatever it takes to keep the money flowing."
The fourth was the f-Law™ of Irrigation. "You gotta keep watering the puppy," he waxed oddly. "If you want to see it grow, you’ve got to soak the sucker. But that doesn’t mean the leader is the water carrier. Good grief. If you’ve got the 1st and 2nd f-Laws™ working for you, you’ve got your people bent over with the weight of that water as they pour it all over your 4th f-Law™."
I heard my flight being called, as Minsick began to launch into his fifth, the f-Law™ of P.G. Wodehouse. As I rushed away, I heard him prattling on about the need to find your own Jeeves. Someone who could pick up after you and always make you look your best.
When I was almost out of earshot I heard him yell, "I’ve got your email from the blog. I’ll send you the rest. Get you to blog about it, maybe." As if!