Building a Mystery

kinnon —  May 22, 2008 — 4 Comments

A post at Jared’s sees me dragging this bit out of the archives:

I can just see Jesus gathering his team around him.

Jesus: OK guys. Any suggestions for what we do next. I’ve done the water into wine thing, helped you guys catch a boat-load of fish and calmed a storm that was freaking you all out. What are we going to do to wow the crowd next.

Simon Peter: I’da know. What about maybe walking on the water. That would be totally amazing.

Various disciples: That would rock…Totally cool…how could we capture it?

James: Or what if you spoke to a big crowd, say 4 or 5,000 people. The only food was a loaf of bread and a few fish. But everybody left filled to the brim…with food left over.

Various disciples: We could call your sermon "Feed Your Need"…yah, or "Five Ways to Come Empty but Leave Filled."

John: You know what would completely blow people’s minds…what if you raised someone from the dead. And I don’t mean just recently dead…but somebody who’d been in the grave for three days…somebody already stinking.

Various disciples: You’re creepin’ me out, John…My stomach kinda reacts to bad smells…Couldn’t you be a little less earthy, John?  

Judas: whatever we do, we can’t forget the offering. We need money to keep this thing going, people.



A television editor, writer & director since 1978. A Christian since 1982. More than a little frustrated with the Church in the West since late in the last millennium.

4 responses to Building a Mystery

  1. I love that you actually have a category called Sarcasm.

  2. Sarcasm or not… Judas’ contribution in the above scarily echoes the wording of this… link to

  3. I wonder if these attractional guys turned off their TV’s that they might see a different Gospel emerge. Context has a lot to do with this. Because they are already in an attractional context they think that is the context they must Christianize. It shows just how abstract theology has become lacking any actual historical biblical context. In reading the comments at Jared’s blog, I realized that we can make scripture say whatever we want by removing it from its actual context. It is why reading Bonhoeffer is a healthy antidote to this stuff.

  4. Jared,
    Isn’t Sarcasm one of the charisms? Or have I been led astray. (I think we all know the answer to that one.)

    Help me understand why they desperately need money to keep what “God is doing” on the interwebs. If God is actually in the middle of this “revival”, is He too busy to insure they have the funds necessary to continue. A rather small god those folk worship, eh.

    Turning off their TV’s would leave them unable to communicate – and that’s the pathetic nature of the church in the west. From a distance we look fat and happy but when you see us up close, we’re really just a cardboard cutout.


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