Broken Shift Key Prayers

kinnon —  December 2, 2008 — 7 Comments

I’ve dragged this up from the archives based on a fun Facebook mini-conversation from last night. It was originally written in May of 07 whilst I waited for my flight in a Starbucks @ Heathrow’s Terminal 4. (It’s been lightly edited.)

let me rant for a moment if you will. in spite of content that might suggest otherwise, I’m actually trained as a writer, and certain idiosyncratic formatting issues of bloggers and commenters drives me crazy.

one of the things that should occur on blogs (where humanly possible) is clarity of communication. the idea is to make your point(s) as comprehensible as possible. it’s about communicating, right? but it would seem many folk in the blog world are dealing with broken computers. that broken gear is impacting the effectiveness of said attempts to communicate.

what appears broken, you wonder? well, it seems their shift keys don’t work. capitalized words at the beginning of sentences and on proper nouns are non-existent.

now. the broken shift key problem would appear to be endemic. particularly amongst the kool bloggers. i wonder what’s caused this. as the little fingers are the primary digits used for these keys, it shouldn’t be an issue of the keys being hit too hard – thus causing breakage.

perhaps it’s just that the kool bloggers have weak little fingers. that must be it. kool bloggers suffer from acute digitus minimus manus strength-loss syndrome. (ADMMS-LS, er, sorry, make that admms-ls). it isn’t that their computers are broken. it’s just that they don’t have the strength to push the shift key down. how very sad.

perhaps we could begin to pray for the kool bloggers.

then, as they develop strength in their little fingers, they might even begin to be able to depress the Shift key. Wouldn’t that be great. Suddenly they would be more comprehensible. No need to scan everything twice when we read their posts or comments. Their writing would be easy to chunk, as it were. Their thoughts would appear to be more comprehensible (even if they aren’t necessarily).

So I’d ask that you join with me to pray this prayer.

Dear Lord, please heal the kool bloggers suffering from admms-ls. We’d love to be able to understand them better, to easily read what they write. And Lord, if they don’t actually suffer from admms-ls, would you please just give them a quick Whack on the Side of the Head. Perhaps then they will use the Shift key.




A television editor, writer & director since 1978. A Christian since 1982. More than a little frustrated with the Church in the West since late in the last millennium.

7 responses to Broken Shift Key Prayers

  1. There is a related disease called wHat iN tHe wOrLd iS GoInG oN hErE! which I assume is an OCSHIFT disorder of some kind. Hard to read and actually really hard to even duplicate!

  2. MG! My kybrd brk nd ll my vwls r gn! (xcpt “y,” bt tht’s nly sm-vwl.) ’m sr t’s nw syndrm, bt t’s bggn’ m lt.

    Whr’s Vnn whn w nd hr?

    Bll – Hlp!

  3. Brd, Nw tht’s fnny!

    mArK, tOo TrUe!


  5. i am glad i was your mini-inspiration for a repost. yeah, i know it can be annoying but the truth is that i was typing in lower caps long before i blogged! it’s been almost 5 years now, i am not even sure how it started but i just don’t like the way the capital letters look. i know you are rolling your eyes right now 🙂 now the unfortunate part is i can’t turn back. but yes, i do use capitals when i really really have to… just thought i’d say hi. i always read but i never comment. i also wanted to add that i do think it’s bizarro what’s happening in canadian politics and here it’s like it’s not even on the radar. so wild. i have been following it just barely with a few canadian connections and i am amazed that what is happening is even an option??? so much for democracy?

  6. this comment commits a capital offense. thankfully, it is not incurring capital punishment …

    O!M!G! I’ve just undergone a Paradigm Shift and I’m all better!

    Whew! That was a close one …

  7. I **aye* *o* **e *e*e***io* o* *y *ey*oa** a** *o* i* *oe* **i*!

    O* *o, **. *i**!


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