One Ed to Rule Them All

kinnon —  May 17, 2012 — 12 Comments

As I look back on my over half-century of existence I note a number of Eds in my life.

The first, from my childhood, the dreaded Phys… Phys Ed, that is. Though tall for my age, I was almost a year younger than most of my class confreres and my co-ordination so reflected. Phys Ed is not a name I remember fondly.

And then there was Drivers’ Ed. I believed Mr. Drivers’ Ed when he told me, “You do know they will fail you for going too slowly, don’t you?” So, after taking his advice to heart, I guess I was a little shocked when I failed my license the first time.

Mr. Kinnon, your son handles the car very well but he does 30 MPH everywhere. Around corners. In reverse. Through a school zone. Twice.”

My adult life was not particularly Ed-free, but I didn’t really become concious of the plethora of Eds until I entered the wonderful world of blogdom. (I’ll leave E.D. out of the discussion, if you don’t mind. Though the final Ed might bring it up as is his wont.)

My friend, Ed Brenegar was an early blogging comrade. A consultant to both church and business, Ed is one of the good guys.

Ed Cyzewski was next up in the pantheon of Eds. Introduced via his Coffeehouse Theology book, I’ve come to enjoy Ed’s writings at In A Mirror Dimly.

And then there’s Ed Stetzer. Missiologist, Church Planter, Researcher, Author and more. He even has his own Wikipedia page. With a double doctorate, and double Masters degrees one might expect Ed to be more than a little intimidating. But dang it, he’s just a very nice guy. (Though you won’t catch me arguing with him… much.)

But all these Eds, as wonderful as they are (except Phys of course) pale in comparison to the one ED.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemensch.

Give it up for, ED YOUNG JUNIOR!

Ed Young Pastor Fashion

Go to any Christian dictionary and right beside the word AWESOME, you’re going to see a picture of ED YOUNG JUNIOR with his big, shi… err… pearly-white grin.

And it’s not ’cuz ED YOUNG JUNIOR is the Senior Pastor of Fellowship Baptist Church Grapevine TX and all its many satellites. It’s not ’cuz he is MR CREATIVE PASTOR. It’s not ’cuz he has the coolest French-made jet (that most of his parishioners knew not about until some nasty TV station broke the story). It’s not ’cuz he tried to spend 24 hours on the roof of his church in bed with his wife. (Where I’m sure he would have talked about E.D. had he had the chance.)

Nope! What makes ED YOUNG JUNIOR the mostest, awesomest ED ever… Pastor Fashion.

PURE.

BRILLIANCE.

I don’t know about you, but most of the Pastors I know just aren’t the kind of fashion plates for the Kingdom they could be. (Yes Toronto Pastors Darryl Dash, Dan MacDonald and Barry Parker – I AM looking at you. Come on guys. Spend a little time at Pastor Fashion. It’ll do the rest of our eyeballs good. And Hyatt and Fitch. I’m not even going to bring you Americans up. Oh. Wait. I just did.)

ED YOUNG JUNIOR goes where lesser Eds fear to tread.

Yup.

Spanx!

Forget those fad diets that leave you craving a Cheesburger, Fries and a Coke at 11pm most nights. Spanx will give you the kind of control you’ve been missing. (Please note: This is not to be construed as medical advice. Consult your doctor before getting spanxed. Void where prohibited by law. Your mileage may vary. Batteries are included – from ED YOUNG JUNIOR, of course.)

And so to the Lessor Eds. Since the odds of you ever being as AWESOME as ED YOUNG JUNIOR, we kindly ask that you stop referring to yourselves as Ed.

Edward, Eddie, Edster, Edit, even Ward are fine.

But WITH ONE ED TO RULE THEM ALL, we’d really rather you not to try to confuse us by using ED YOUNG JUNIOR’s first name.

Man, I just love this American Christianity thing!!!

kinnon

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A television editor, writer & director since 1978. A Christian since 1982. More than a little frustrated with the Church in the West since late in the last millennium.

12 responses to One Ed to Rule Them All

  1. Sorry, Bill. I posted on this at BHT without seeing your post. I’ve added a note

  2. I saw that website when he launched it, and I was praying that it was a joke.

    If that dude isn’t an “Eddie,” I don’t know what an Eddie is. He stinks of Eddie. Look at that glib smile? How could you make him the one and only “Ed” in the world? “Eddie Young” is what comes to mind when I see his picture.

    I worked too hard for too long to get everyone I know to call me Ed, and I’m not going to let some fancy pants pastor steal it away from me. If I need to launch a competing website for the “well-dressed blogger,” then so be it. Game on!

    And thanks for including me in your post, even if I had no role in naming myself “Ed.”

  3. Bill:

    Thanks for your kind words over at Wartburg Watch the other day. To show you that no good deed goes unpunished, I just want to mention that one of our first posts at The Steam Tunnel when we launched in February was this one:

    Ed Young to Hold Fashion Show on Church Roof

    As you can probably imagine, several folks on Facebook and elsewhere thought it was real.

    SMG

  4. He’s well on his way to looking like that Eddie that Iron Maiden has on all those albums. Except this one seems somehow evil…

  5. As one of the guilty “Toronto-3″ I guess I will never make it to celebrity status as I dress for success. My thanks Bill for helping me see the error of my sartorial ways. Forever in your debt.

  6. Oh, good heavens …

    … I don’t know if I should be happy that I’m wearing barf green camo so no one will notice where my lunch landed post-Eddie-Spanx? Or should I be sad because I can’t see the fresh splotches to clean them off?

    Is it functional? Is it fashionable? Is it pastoral?

    Why yes, Virginia, it’s all of the above. In fact, it’s CamoFashionisto … The Fashion From Above!

  7. Bill, you are missing the point. The point is, that this newest Ed has had nearly as powerful an influence on you as the earlier Eds. As we all know, “leadership is influence” according to a powerful source. Therefore, Ed has provided leadership. This is GOOD right? I’m not even going to tell you what I am wearing as I comment, cool as it is ;)

  8. Did Sauron have really big teeth?

  9. Can we start calling him Mister Ed?

  10. Oh the Humanity!!

What do you think?